Let’s have fun!
In today’s article I thought we could have a bit of fun! We’re going to assemble the 40k Dream Team of Quarantine (it kind of rhymes… I like it!). Within the 23 years the Black Library has existed, they’ve had so many interesting characters that I thought to myself: ‘’Why not make a dream team that I would want to spend weeks and months with?’’ This is just a tiny sample of what I could come up with, but here it goes!
#1: Tarik Torgaddon (Art by Adriàn Prado)
Torgaddon is the best comical relief in the Horus Heresy. He wasn’t there for long (SPOILER ALERT from the first trilogy! If you haven’t read it yet, you’re a bit late but no judgment from me here. Just go check it out and come back, I’ll make myself a sandwich…. You’re back? Ok good!). You just know that this guy would be the pun machine, alleviating the weight of everything going on and bringing up the mood in the room. He would be the kind of guy who plays tricks on his roommates to make them pissed — but all in good spirit. All the while he’d still be smart enough to not go over the line… or maybe not. Let’s be honest, he would go over the line and I would love it! As you’ll see, we would need some jokes around some of my other choices.
#2: Fabius Bile
I know, I know! We can’t trust him. He is the worst — or the best at what he does. It depends on where you are standing in relation to the surgical table, I guess… There is always a sneaky character, that you know can’t be trusted, but sill brings a little something to the group. The Danny McBride of the pack, if you will. That’s Fabius! He is a mad doctor but let’s face it, he is still a doctor and pretty much the best around. He’s survived 10,000 years, after all.
He cloned a Primarch and that guy can clone himself. So, you never know if the guy you are punching is really feeling any pain or if it’s even really him at all. So what’s the point in arming him, right?! He is like the boomerang that just keeps on coming back no matter how much you want him gone… Like tax season pretty much!
#3: Bjorn
Bjorn is the old man in the room. The guy who has experience. The guy who has seen everything. The Woody Harrelson of the group. He has seen Wolf Lord after Wolf Lord. Face it, this guy has a lot of stories that you could not even dream up. He has the whole Black Library novel collection and even more, so time would pass by quickly with him around. The only drawback would be that he would likely fall asleep in the middle of his stories. He is the old man in the rocking chair (just imagine the size of the rocking chair that would hold that Dreadnought… now imagine that Dreadnought rocking in it… I will never be able to get that image out of my head!).
He’d be telling stories but start snoring in the middle of it, leaving you waiting for the rest when he wakes up. And you don’t want to wake him up! You know he would be pissed to be awoken and would spend the rest of the day telling everyone that “his days at the Imperium were so much better.” Then a heavy silence would settle among the group, while everyone thought about how true that is. And then Torgaddon would make a pun and everything would be better. Or Fabius would get a lot of deadly looks while he laughs at the state of the Imperium saying, “You’re welcome!”
#4: Makari
Makari, the guy you just know could throw a party! He has survived all these years next to one of the biggest Ork warlords since Ullanor in the Great Crusade. There must be a reason — and it can’t be his fighting abilities. He must be either hilarious, inspiring or the best party planner in the universe. Maybe he twerks like nobody’s business. (Shit… another image I will never be able to wipe from my brain…) I would love to see a discussion between him and Bjorn where the Dreadnought falls asleep mid-story and gets woken up by a hit from the banner! Though, that would be pretty much be the equivalent of a kid hitting frying pans and saying he is “makin’ musik”… (Not a spelling mistake that’s how you spell it in Ork language or at least I think it is…)
#5: Saint Celestine
We’d need a leader. This 40K Dream Team of Quarantine is pretty amazing as it is, but we need a leader to rally the troops. A leader to make inspiring speeches to help us through tough times. If there is one manifestation of “the Emperor protects,” it’s this lady right here. Fabius Bile wants to do something vile? (You just know that “Bile the Vile” is a basically summer camp nickname just waiting to happen.) Celestine could bring him healing with peace and radiance.
My apartment would need someone to keep the peace in the group and protect it so that I can keep my security deposit. I’m not even sure a Dreadnought would fit in my living room…I digress! It’s clear that she would be the boring one, always telling Torgaddon that he crossed the line with a joke. She’d be telling Makari to stop twerking in front of Bjorn and trying to wake him up. But we could all use hope in these trying times of isolation. She would be the hope and morale compass of the Dream Team of Quarantine. Plus, as a bonus, she brings birds with her. Come on! I always wanted doves! Majestic flying feathery rats!
Conclusion:
This is just a fragment of what I could have come up with. What would you have done? Don’t agree with my choices? Let me know in the comments. Maybe you could make a 40K Dream Team of Quarantine with a theme from a certain race or chapter! Let’s have fun with this! No limits! You want some more Warhammer fun? Here is a little something: https://nightsatthegametable.com/warhammer-40k-dank-meme-guide/
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